A few weeks ago as I was about to gear up for my next set of online workshops. I sent a note informing all of you SuperStars that I was gonna be firing out a bunch of emails over the next few weeks to promote it. It started with this— I’m going to be blasting a bunch of emails in your direction over the next two weeks to promote my online workshops. I’m not a huge fan of doing this, but it’s the best way to get the word out.
I personally can’t stand too many promotional emails and I wanted to sort of warn you guys that if you aren’t into, you should just skip it.
Shortly after this email came out, I got two responses. One from my amazing business coach/ writer pal Ksenia, and one from a former songwriting student turned friend Azure Anarchy. They both questioned the disclaimer, “I’m not a huge fan of doing this…”
I thought about it but I didn’t go in deep. In my mind it was just a buffer, a way to soften the barrage of emails that was soon to be filling up your inboxes.
Shortly after I spoke to my best buddy Steve and told him the story. He asked me straight up, “So, why did you write that line?”
I responded with, “I wrote it because…” and then stopped cold. I couldn’t complete the sentence. He looked at me with his let’s-cut-the-bullshit look. “Why? Really, why did you write that?”
In a moment of clarity I knew. Because I didn’t believe I was worth it. I didn’t believe what I was teaching was worth the emails or the dough I was asking for. Geez. That’s a tough pill to swallow. And a tough sentence to speak out loud.
In so many ways I’m confident, strong, put together. I believe that I love myself deeply and have value to offer the world in many ways. But those few words in that email spoke of a deeper truth.
Since then, I’ve been meditating on all of this and re-wiring my brain and heart. It’s working.
Here’s what I know. We’re all beautiful and valuable and have gifts to offer the world. When we have the courage to be seen, expressed and healed through our creativity, we become the gift. And that gift never needs an apology. It’s always valuable. And when it’s shared, in any way, at any level, it helps others in ways that we may never know. If you have a heartbeat, you have value.
As I was writing this piece at my favorite Seattle coffeeshop, I was chit chatting with the barista. Rich is a great musician and painter. He was showing me a pic of his new guitar and we started talking about the fact that’s he’s rocking it with his music and an upcoming art show. His biggest issue was that he needs some help understanding how to promote his stuff.
I offered to get together to coach him on this kind of thing. I’m getting ready to go public with my private coaching sessions, so this was perfect. I wasn’t planning on asking for any money. Why? Because I’m a nice guy? Maybe. Because I still don’t know my own value? Maybe.
Then he offered to pay me. And as he walked back to the espresso machine he shouted over his shoulder, “You’re worth it, man. Thanks!”
Wow. Apparently I still had a few things to learn about knowing my value. It was like a f*ing scene out of movie. He reenforced this whole concept without having any idea what was going on with me and this whole issue. The world is truly magical. I heard the message (again) loud and clear. And I’m working on it.
It’s great to share our gifts with the world without compensation. It’s also great to know our value, and let the rest of the world know it too. Be the gift that you are.
Ps. I made a movie about a wise and magical barista. Life imitates art. Click to watch.
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How do you know and express your value?
Wow, just was clearing something around this yesterday, then saw this today. I was digging into something that came up and got to 2 limiting beliefs: “I have nothing of value to add to the human conversation” and “I don’t know if anyone else cares about anything I have to offer”.
Thanks for the insight. I want to keep diving into this, because it’s so critical for to be confident in the value we are bringing. I cannot count how many times I’ve felt like or have apologized for who I am and what I bring to the world.
Eva, you have many, many things of value to bring to the conversation. We all do. Our unique gifts and perspectives help us learn and understand the world. Then we can share that knowledge and wisdom with whoever is ready to hear it at the time. So shout it out!
Fortunate enough to work with this guy on a neighborhood creative project. He is for true a magical barista! ..A magical artist, musician and human as well. Streets of Ballard and beyond… the better off for him walking that magic around our hood. Gratitude for magical people like this scattered around in the milieu.